As I continue my journey of self development I cannot ignore the same problems that I'm constantly confronted with and the main issue is SURVIVAL, which leaves me in need of a job to satisfy my bills until my businesses generate enough cash flow to allow me to leave the workforce.
Sometimes I feel like I'm moving forward then it seems like I continue to get stuck in my head in terms of executing my next move. The move must be practical and very simple, for my timing is limited.
My timing is limited because I must divide time up for family, self-health, job, music, real estate and other things that may need to be addressed from time to time again. I'm beginning to realize that I cannot be of assistance to anyone at this moment until I heal some things in my very own life, primarily my diabetes.
I also must develop my independent income streams as well as performing a job duty that I like doing until the workforce is not needed. So far my work experience has been very burdensome and even traumatic on some levels, the more I learn about who I am and my purpose I realize I have to be very careful about where I give and receive energy, there have been much pain in me not knowing this lesson.
While I'm a great thinker I've come to see that I'm not the most effective executor in terms of achieving my goals, and I do mean goals that are life changing which factors in solving real issues that need to be fixed. Maybe its the mere fact that I'm 32 years old simply still coming into who I am as a man.. Maybe this is how my path is supposed to be......
I find myself stuck in the rut of stepping out on serious faith to achieve my dreams versus trying to make gradual progress being in the workforce dealing with costant situations that impact my spirit.
Which is worse I usually ponder??? Fearing the possibility of not being able to help provide for my wife and 5 children is a scary thing and over the years I've had some pretty close calls with tall bills and short money.
Somehow my family continue to make it and survive, I am blessed and grateful to have such a loving family and selective community members who have all supported in some way to help keep us a float. Self care and taking time for personal reflection is very valuable to me and the more I mature its becoming more of a priority in my life.
Everyday is a blessing with a new set of challenges, new thought patterns to solve issues, fresh opportunity to meet new great people and embark upon great task. The overwhelming aspect for me at times is how to put all of these things into perspective.
For my own sanity it seems like my best bet is to find the flow and move with it and not against it, this is definitely a challenge but a worthy one for my desires to manifest.
Have you heard my new EP "People Under Siege Revisited"??? Check it out @ https://iampoetdeep.com/album/742463/people-under-siege-revisited-ep .I appreciate you taking out your time to read this.